Malaysia JB

we have been friends since forever.

PIC ONE YEAR AGO... time passes.

This blog post is rather exquisite because, even though i have exploding emotions in me right now, for the first time I wont be like typing OMGIHATEYOU(#&^(*^*^( and blurting out all my nonsense thoughts all at once without blinking my eye, I'll try to type this out in my most mature point of view because yes i know im actually quite kiddy for a girl whose gonna turn 18 this year.

I'll probably type and tear along the way but anw i would mainly dedicate it to my clique. If you dunno who are they by now, its probably weird that you're on my blog since my life is actually mostly resolving around them. Weishan, Tricia, Tessa, Regina. Yup we have all been friends since secondary school, and yes i think they will be the friends that will actually stick with me even when my feet is halfway inside my coffin.

Not the normal kind of dedication but mainly about how i feel esp after the so called 'quarrel' that spammed twitter timeline tonight. It actually made me think about everything.

This will probably be one of the rare times, hopefully the last, that i'll actually Really say out how i feel i guess. So listen if you want. Up to you actually. If you're a strangest stranger and have no intention of listening and just came here to gossip about me. feel free to scroll down to the picture session where i look ultimately horrid ok. yay. moving on.

Actually, the quarrel was rather dumb, started off with weishan changing our clique outing date then tricia changed it again then so on so fourth then, weishan saying her bf, gary is coming. and i was like No offence but i thought that it was gonna be a clique date. That was still okay i guess but then she suddenly said If u guys not gonna decide now(cause she was asking when are we going then no one actually replied cos my clique ppl = #bochap kias) she,weishan, will go with gary on monday alr alone then i EXPLODED.

i think ur face should be like

this now so just bare with me and continue reading.

okayokay. Number one bad thing abt being good friends with me. Im really the number one jealous friend. U can also decribe me as nosy, overprotective, Menopausal, all the bad things la. Really i was damn upset about it because actually, my clique girls is those kind of girls who are all really quite independent. They are all very mature, quite sensible i guess *rolls eyes* their not the kind of girls that are whiny and act cute or whatsoever. okay maybe sometimes CERTAIN person would Hahah but whatever you get my point.

Bottom line, actually my clique ppl all more of the bochap kind la. like if u quarrel with them or what. ppl like weishan and regina tricia etc all quite Hard hearted one leh to me i feel. they wont apologise, they wont talk to u first :( we all stubborn maximum, think we the best, think we always correct? agreed. I will like CRY when i get angry and think alotttttttt and miss them though

(hais ok im beginning to sound lesbian-ish but no im just another insecure girl -who I hate to admit this recently because i think im damn not cool and loser cos, i have no boyfriend before in my 17 years of life - how miserable does that sound LOL - okay continue, insecure girl who i think sometimes i care too much? maybe because they are all those few that actually got close to my heart before. okay not really maybe im too into friends, like always friends first friends first kind?

so i have like 4 boyfriends instead of 1. I mean im TOO emotional, like oh god please make me less of a EXPLOSIVE bitch because i will go like WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and explode over every single little thing. abit only then WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH abit only then WAHHHHHHHHHHOMG really i think im damn problematic sometimes. I wish i could be more like them. More sensible, less explosive, less drama queen kind? oh man.. starting to feel how they feel, putting up with my nonsense for like what so many years. Im really quite a pain in the ass sometimes. :(

and my magical tears no longer works with them cos im the one tht ALWAYS cries goddammit i think they seen me cry like average 100 times n i see them cry like what? rank two tricia? LOL 4 times? erm then tessa 2 times? weishan regina both erm on par once only each. OMFG im amazed now OMG they really cry damn little one omg cool WHY is this happening to me...

okay enough of the crap. i think i shall list out things i wanna try improving on myself so that i can be a better friend and person.

1. I'll try not to care that much. Realised i have been quite a controlling friend, care too much too irritating, too possessive. as u all know the tricia and ritz drama. dnno refer to : http://spacestardom.blogspot.com/2012/02/long-post-ahead.html this post. what i feared most happened again. i guess they are somewhat tgt again. and this time he actually asked his friend to text to ask me If they could patch like wtfbbq i really some kind of monster seriously so scared of me. im a too scary friend. this also need to ask me. hurts my feelings. actually i'll try my best not to interfere in this and repeat the same two cycles that happened. which was like my fault everytime they quarrel oh well. But mainly im just like wtf at the fact that he and the guy say if they patch we can all be pig gang again (friends) i just feel like hi im not ur toy or pawn when u patch then yay friends then break alr every time fault or problem within the couple is mine so Yeap. nah. but still all the best, i dont care.. or at least slowly try not to.

But i actually saw this photo that tricia took with him at uss JUST now so i think im really too scary or smthing :( after soooooo long then aft she comfirmed that i was ok with them back tgt etc then she dared post the picture up. HURTS MY FEELINGS.............. my own friend also scared to tell me everything now.Then whats the point of being friends?.... means i should be more like regina tessa and weishan. all in their own world and hack this melodrama thing kay must learn from the masters.

2. try and be more understanding. im also not you guys right? must think in ur shoes.

3. I think i have to focus more on myself now, my plans, my dreams, cant and tired of juggling and maintaining relationships sometimes, not really a octopus. and really, getting really envious at all those people who are doing really well now, im just saying i love singing. i like to sing. but im just sittting here not doing a single thing to try improve on my Need improvement singing skills etc so yea I think i would like to go and enroll in some singing class soon and of course takecare of my voice....... :( my cough has been around for too long, and the flu. BEGONE pls.

4. stop crying so easily

5. go do some exercise and lose weight. today someone told me on my formspring :

u got the looks but not figure . no offense here cheers

wah im also the kind of person whom will THINK alot as i said so im rather sad, i mean ya i already know im fat and like not as skinny as the girls in my clique or those cool people out and about. so ya okay i get the point. I reallllllllllllllllly got the motivation now, okay. HAHAHAH ok sorry for laughing.

6. i got a brain block and wala all my inspiration is gone so ok done ranting.. yup so if u guys have any more things u think i should improve on and stuff :(

can formspring me! :(*

i shall humbly try and accept , my flaws and improve on my snobby attitude etc okay. cheeeeeeeeeeeerz :)

and i love my four girls the most still as well as wenminniez :) shes one of my bestest best friends too. she care more ma....... meh ok dont think eugenia DONT.

picts of food when me tim regina tricia weishan went out ytd.

crystal jade lamian xiao long bao!

love this damn nice MY SPICY LAMIAN HAHAHA k ya i no figure la OKAY

i think their xiao long bao nicer than ding tai fung's one actually!

yup and below these are some bff pics of me and regina. shes the best currently? cos shes single? HAHA #bias-to-single-girlsdisease.

WARNING: eugenia looks damn ugly n horrible because i have totally no makeup on at all and slept like 5 hours the day before no skin makeup no blusher NO CONCEALER nothing nothing NOTHING only a pathetic pair of contacts okay so pardon for my unlikeness. later i no figure no looks SIGH ok i mean i dont think i look that pretty either la HAHAHAHAHAHA

okay another point 6. i know i should stop being so paranoid and be like those girls who like I NO MAKEUP BUT STILL CONFIDENT KIND~~~ okay i need more SELF CONFIDENT HAHAHA CONFIDENCE*

point 7. IMPROVE MY ENGLISH, LESS VUGARITIES, TRY TYPING IN BETTER ENGLISH. i swear if u talk to me real, i dont think my english is that bad LOL.

ya ok this two pics my camera lens were blurrrrrrrrrrred