Wordy Post

Feel like crying now. Long time since i done a post like this. Just got notified that i dint get into the year 3 poly module i wanted next year. Should have expected it what. I mean my GPA sucks, Im in a course which i fucking hate and im so fucking playful all the time partying and socializing my grades are in a mess.

What happened? In like 5 years time, i can definitely picture myself suffering. What for the point of trying to look good now, applying makeup, trying to lose weight, when right at this age, education is actually the most important thing. You screw it up, your future is bleak. I mean no matter how good you are, which guy would want to date and marry a burden in a future. Unless you are really damn lucky. If not, it really feels like good luck to me already.

Growing up sucks, so tedious. If my family was rich and i can inherit a great deal of money, i would have nothing to worry about. Im a single child, i am born with a talent, but its just one of the many talents many people are blessed with when they are born. Always wanted to be a singer, but im also not exceptionally good at singing, neither did i put in effort in my passion. Just always sitting here as the days past, like a hunter sitting next to a tree to hunt for a rabbit.

Really really really hate and scared of growing up, or growing up alone, have so much friends now got what use? Friends can only help to a certain extent. I really think im a failure in life and i think i will be a fucking burden to my future husband and no eligible guys would even want me to be their girlfriend cos im fucking useless.

fuck this shit fuck life fuck myself because i only have myself to blame. too late for regrets. I mean i cant even regret cos i chose this road.