Pessimist

This is the second time I'm retyping this... makes me even more annoyed. I rarely do this kind of post. I try to be happy internally, fill myself with calm thoughts. But right now I just feel so horrid about everything. My attitude, my character, my fate. I am pretty insecure. I just want to be better sometimes I mean I really try to be nice. But I feel like I'm always placed second always the backup plan. Not the first time it happened. When will I be first? Maybe like I have said. I'm not good enough to deserve more attention, never will be. Call me sensitive, call me spoilt, I notice and feel the tiniest details, the smallest things. I try to put on a poker face.

Btw should I dye or reborn my hair? This picture was taken sometime back.