emotionally damaged

I miss my smile, I miss the times I could really not care, I miss the times where I wouldn't feel so affected, I miss the times i wouldn't brood, I miss the times where I wouldn't cry so easily (yes i do cry but this is just simply not how i wanted to feel), I miss the past, I miss being free. Pardon me for my emotional rant, I'm just feeling weak, its not like I want and tell everyone I am unhappy, I simply am not brave enough to just keep it within. Its torturing, especially when I know I'm just torturing myself, I just wanna know why am I continuing this, either way hurts, sometimes I hate being so inexperienced, I think I am disgusting, loathe-ful and a burden. No one can love me the way I am, time would prove that I'm nothing good to stay around for. Just such a mess. I need to get my game step up. // Sucks to listen to nice sad songs and make myself feel worse. I cannot handle it when people lose their temper at me, so damn scared. I feel so damn scared right now............. fuck ............................................................. I got to stop crying and just stop this shit. All i wanna do is lie in bed and cry my existence is a bother

I feel so damn fucking insignificant