Saturday, November 3, 2012

A lesson learnt; dedication at the end of the post

this is a good pore clarifying mask i recommend! 

hmm so hello guys, finally blogging aft like a emo period of time HAHA.. gonna briefly write what i did for the past few days, and then the really impt last part of decdication. really cmi everyday heck care my appearance go school and like no makeup all.. until thurs and fri finally tried to like get up on my feet again.

i swear i look damn haggard now with my eyebags and puffy face, just that obviously photos makes my skin looks in a better condition but nah.

ootd on like monday. didnt take my face. i think my floral sandals really matches my jeans :)

frolick with wenmin first person who met me aft the big fucked up drama

 my ootd on tuesday.

appetite hasnt been good. keep eating sweets only. hehe got new QQ flavor

a day out with one of my bestie regina makes me feel better. i guess, takes my mind off things. She still sort of treat me to our fav vanilla frappe ^^ HAHA okay i dint pay her cos i dint have enough cash but shes fucking nice so she was like forget it la. LOL HAHAH <3 thanks :') little things makes me happy.

totally haggardddd. hahaha went to see the dentist :/// bleah.

and had dinner at ecp. sataybeehoon etc. haha really. i think the beach is a damn good place to slack. i mean the scenery, the wind, makes u feel peaceful for at least a moment. one day if i suicidal i think i rather like drown or smth. like when i feel sad i will think of jumping in the swimming pool LOL somehow it feels better to cry in the water or smth. hahahaha drown my sorrows.

and i like this.

got myself a brown dollywink liquid eyeliner and lost my ezlink card that day. And then realised it the next day. was feeling that i was the most unlucky person in the world, but then despite my horrible ugly ezlink pic, this guy added me on fb and told me he found it.

so i was pretty much quite touched that there are still nice people around..

and ytd Kimberly Chia and Xubin (i screamed for 2 mins when i saw him reallife) LOL haha damn handsome. okay they came to singapore polytechnic, i think they'll be doing this for afew polys and school for a variety show? im not sure. 

they chose like 15 sp girls and guys  princesses and princes to participate. Zav was kimberly chia's date for date a star before so they asked him to film for this too. then me and enjia just pretend we his classmates (ok we are LOL) then we just slacking around before the camera came and found zav. hmm surprisingly the person picked me also to be one of the candidates. i damn nervous la. i swear i didnt know what to say. and i think i was just staring at xubin all the way LOL fuck im damn weird HAHAHA i needa practice my confidence. and i had two big pimples that dont seem to have any signs of disappearing.

that made my day slightly better. just that i know that theres so much more to come when people start complaining that this girl so ugly why get chosen this kind of things.. oh well. life is hard. esp you are not what people want you to be, what they expect you to be. I just want to be accepted for who i am, i really try to be nice. just that maybe my attitude would annoy some people. but trust me, i dont mean for it to be. 

and im glad ytd i was BROMZING halfway, this familiar voice of a distant friend called out to me, make me cant continue what i was doing in peace but, at least. things seem to improve. i will try my best to change. if you are reading this.

after school slacked with zhiyan, ej, sam and his friends cheryl, junkiet, avril. drank starbucks, the guy made a drink wrong so he told me and zhiyan to just have it. HAHA we say that we are 
ZAI NU ZIS (pretty girls) hehe but sam say he is the ZAI NAN ZI(handsome one). thats why got free but. wdv. dedicated a song to sam at fc5 which cracked us up but i think im kinda lazy to upload the vid.
had fun hanging out and went bowling :) still a gutter champion.

before heading to my retarded cover as usual, i would like to dedicate this part to those people i have their support around me these past few days. you will know who you are.

1) thanks for your drink, and plain water. LOL kinda obvious who im refering to now, and ur accompaniment on the days i felt the most pain. sorry i had to let u see me cry, and make you cringe and dunno what to say, but thanks for listening and trying ur best to be there, R. 

2) sorry that i dint start listening to you in the first place, i am really sorry for that. i know you have always alot of those funny but bitchy opinions but is actually quite all the praticial truth about this world. and i cant wait for ur as to be over and i'll have ur accompaniment once again. T

3) thanks for being a mom, all the time, saying harsh things that can make me feel like bursting into tears, but i know you really care for me and still bring me food to eat. whoa. and lastly the sentence when you asked everyone "the next time you see _ what will you guys do?" and you said "i think he wont even have the balls to come say hi to me" thats fucking sweet. and sorry im so weak replaying the drama u have to see in secondary school again. WS

4) this person i have nothing much to say cos i dint meet you much but ya i know you mean well even though you show her the very extremely embarassing video only supposedly meant for the clique to see. but YA you were right... and i always admire how you just say out just what you feel and thanks for being a friend. T

5) this person i wanna kpkb you cos u were kinda why this happened for always repeating the sentences to me but ya i know you will be there for me everytime. and very fucking sweet because come to think of it very little girls would do what you did at the time you almost got in the trap and i still thought it was funny then and keep putting nonsense thought in ur head ive got my karama now. and same, i should have listened to you before it was too late. WM.

6) this is for the person whom comfirmed how well my third sense was, i sensed ur post last sentences was dedicated for me, and now its ur turn to guess if this is for you, and yes it is. thanks for  even bothering to send me long msges and talk to me that short period of time that day, even though i dont really know you that well maybe will be better in the future;) , but i really like that you were honest with me and yup glad i met you C. really appreciate this.

7) this is for this guy in class who have to see me suddenly crying in a corner during my lectures or tutorials, then listen to me harping about stupid stuff and not really doing our proj and he have to balance it all. but i gonna try my best to do now. and thanks for understanding seriously even though you sometimes dont listen to what i say cos im damn naggy but think you always say me but you still will care la, really glad i made a friend like you EJ

8) and this is for one of my besties that i unfortunately dragged you into this mess, it may be my fault, but. yup you get. you may be the perfect candidate for this now, because at least i know im able to trust you because you are very honest with me, but truthfully im also sorry because i know you are kinda like me, soft and more on the innocent side, i do hope this period will be gone for us soon and everything will fall back into the place where we will both be happy hand in hand and yes i chose you too. :) ZY

9) thanks to those people who also bothered to inbox me to ask me whats wrong with me nowadays and then lend me a listening ear even though its weird im confiding to you, but i will try not to be dependent on someone much right now, other than my girl friends, but thanks and i really appreciate. K, R.

10) And sorry to my bros whom i have disspoint, right now i just need some time. but thanks for being kinda sweet offering me sushi hmm.. and like will try and cheer me up. i hope we can still be better bros again one day. but its awkward now and im not sure beacause we were a clique.

11) lastly, to the person i have decided not to talk to. maybe we would still be friends in the future, but right now maybe you will have to respect my decision of leaving things like this. even if you dont care about my existence even. and sorry i guess  for not being brave enough to make things or sacrifices you claim. But truthfully, even if you feel that this is all my fault, it does take two hands to clap and alright even if you think i had more fault in this. i honestly thought based on our purely friendship side you would consider more on my feelings. and our friendship is strong enough for you to be the better man. you may be used to things playing like this on ur side, but i can tell you you just lost the trust of someone who honestly did care and accepted you for what you are.

yup i hope all this will not offend anyone if yes, please calm ur balls i will appreciate if no angsty tweets will be out aft reading this, i promise i did everything i felt right and i wont ever do things against my morals. and yes i have learnt alot from this. just in time to face that im not good enough, and move on. all part and parcel of life really.

now enjoy my vlog, which has alot of dislikes which is also hurting my pride. LOL seriously im too weak.

okay i just happened to make this cover today morning. NO SPECIAL MEANING. at all.
just that recently feeling down, just quote from enjia he say eugenia feeling "under the weather" haha :) then i just like to listen to songs and sing and whatsapp them to my poor clique with poor ears everyday hahaha. just makes me feel better.. but im fucking lucky to have CBOAH argh

xoxo eugeniania i hope the next time i blog will be less wordy and more of my optimistic self once again. HAHA see me before my emo periooooood so quacky and lame but happy and chubby cos i eat alot of food not cos i cry and my face chubby :(

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